MILFs, Cougars And Pumas, Oh My!: A Handy Guide

By now, most of us who watch enough TV to know that women over the age of 35 are not desirable also know what a “MILF” is: Mother I’d Like to Ferment. Or fuck? Something like that. Well, now we’ve been made aware of a new term, “MIRRF,” or “Mother I’d Really Rather not Fuck.” Coincidentally, “MIRRF” is roughly the sound we make when we’re accidentally called Mom during handjobs. By the way, that’s Linda Hogan popping a caca bubble on her “19-year-old” boyfriend in the photo.

So, MILFs! Fun! Women should totally have the luxury of being sexual objects even through their golden years. Personally, we’d rather be eating bonbons and perusing Furry chat rooms than pretending to enjoy sex when we’re old, but whatever. To each her own. But this got us wondering: What would happen if you paired the whole “MILF, cougar” thing with the idea that Latinas are, like. Always hot and bothered and just waiting to sit on someone’s face? Let’s see who we’ve got on our team:

Salma Hayek

Sofia Vergara

Jessica Alba (Soonish!)

and Jennifer Lopez…

’s sister, Lynda.

That’s a pretty ILFable group, no? We’d prefer to be a “MILFTMBSALAIHAHP,” or a “Mother I’d Like To Maybe Be Someday As Long As I Have A Hot Poolboy.” But do let us know what you think. -Latinas cougars- Pumas: Complimentary? Or offensive?

MIRRF [Webster's Is My Bitch]