Now that Jessica Alba’s baby has slithered out, her family is coming forward to get some press send their good wishes. First, her darling Daddy Mark, who admits Jessica is his favorite child and her brother Josh can go be Brownish and Unfamous somewhere far away:

“The fact that this little girl came out of my daughter’s stomach, it blows my mind,” he exclaimed, adding that he wasn’t nearly as emotional when Jessica’s brother Josh Alba’s first child was born. “Somehow, this was different,” he said.

It would blow our mind, too, if a baby were to leap out of a person’s stomach. Oh and the baby is kind of brown and unsmiling, in case you were wondering:

“She’s got Jessica’s complexion, her hair, her eyes. She looks like Jessica when she was a baby.” The doting grandpa couldn’t stop himself from gushing, telling us he “thought Jessica was the prettiest baby I had ever seen, but I was wrong.” That title now belongs to Honor, he says.

God, Dad. Then, when asked if Honor Marie looks more like her mom or dad, Jessica’s uninteresting brother thinks the baby looks like a stupid, fat blob thing:

“I can never tell with newborns,” Josh said. “There are not really any features. I can’t tell yet.”

It’s a complete and utter troll. We told you!

Why is it necessary for her family to make any comment at all? Shit, it’s not our business that the baby looks like a dog walking away.

Latina.com Exclusive: Jessica Alba’s Father Says Honor Marie “Has Jessica’s Complexion” [Latina.com]
Jessica Alba’s Brother: Honor “Is Very Beautiful” [Us Magazine]