Chronically and perpetually fatigued former dictator, Fidel Castro, has his own blog! Which is great, because we were wondering when he’d chime in on the whole Selena Gomez / Miley Cyrus / Nick Jonas love triangle. He blogs about serious things, like Hugo Chavez and the weather.

In the two years since Castro stepped down as president following a still-unrevealed illness, he has not made any public appearances or speeches - ‘cept, of course, in his blog, where he’s free to talk about everything from the upcoming Beijing Olympics to Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday to Amy Winehouse’s grody-ass wig (JK!). It’s kind of charming, really, how Fidel chooses to spend his retirement like any other old geezer might, by being totally boring and chatting with his friends about mundane things. Let’s take a peek at Fidel’s latest entry, in which he talks about Hugo:

He returned Friday from his trip to Europe. He did so in only four days.

Only four!

Flying to the West, he arrived in Caracas at 11 P.M, as dawn was spreading over his starting point, Madrid.

They called early from Venezuela that Saturday - reported that Chavez wanted talk over the phone that day. I responded that it would be at 1:45 in the afternoon.

Riveting.

Chavez was calm, reflective and satisfied with the tour. We exchanged views on prices of food, oil and raw materials, devaluation of the dollar, inflation, recession, fraud and looting imperialist, risks of nuclear war.

God. Keep it to your LiveJournal. Castro then goes on to talk about softball games among communist countries and a special portrait of Che he gave to Chavez. Haha, friends!:

When I turned on the TV that night, Chavez was addressing the public over the final game between Venezuela and Cuba’s women’s softball leagues. The Venezuelans won the game, one to zero.

Aw! But, fret not, for Chavez and Castro’s friendship is strong enough to carry them over potentially tough times, like a dolphin carrying a young child across the sea:

Were we not internationalists, we would certainly have become depressed.

Emo!

After thinking it over for a bit, I was happy for Venezuela. ¡Qué bárbaro! [Ed. note: There’s just no translation.] Who could deny such an outpouring of effort?

And, aw:

Today is his birthday. Raul and I sent him a portrait of Che by a painter from Cuba’s Western-most province. Really impressive.

Que cute.

REFLEXIONES DEL COMPAÑERO FIDEL: El mensaje de Chávez [Cuba Debate]
Fidel Castro sólo se deja ver en su blog dos años después de ceder el poder en Cuba [20 Minutos]