“Desperate Housewives” creator and cutely-named man, Marc Cherry, talked to the NY Daily News about the new direction his godawful series is taking. This will include, he explains, the “de-glamourization” of Gaby — a former runway model despite being like 3’6” — played by Eva Longoria:

The hardest part of jumping ABC’s “Desperate Housewives” five years into the future this season, says creator/writer Marc Cherry, “was trying to find a way to make Eva ­Longoria Parker look frumpy.”

When they finally did it, by the way, the happiest person in the family was Longoria Parker.

“It used to take me two hours in hair and makeup,” the actress told the Television Critics Association this week. “Now it’s 10 minutes.”

How humble. But, still, why does this not sit well with us? Let’s continue:

“I have the most glamorous cast in the history of television,” said Cherry. “There are so many stories that I couldn’t do because of that. Having Gaby at home taking care of two kids changes that a little.”

The truth is, Cherry confesses, Longoria Parker has a story line that will restore her glamour partway through the season. But for a few brief shining episodes, she’ll look closer to normal.

“I grew up in the Midwest,” he says, “and I know a lot of women who watch this show there resent it. They ask me, ‘Couldn’t one of them have a weight problem?’ ”

Longoria Parker, interestingly, echoes that sentiment. “Looking frumpy lets me do other things,” she said. “I’m happy not to play glamour for a while.”

First off, we’ve only watched a few episodes of this show (probably while strapped into a chair with our eyelids clamped upward) and found it wildly unrelatable. Not because its an unfunny show with ridiculous plotlines and poor acting, but because we can’t relate to carefully cultivated models of what women might maybe be like according to writers who write characterizations in place of characters. From frazzled stay-at-home to stylish and successful fashionista, these are simply flat, one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs meant to be entertaining, not unlike sock puppets or paper dolls. Which not only makes “Desperate Housewives” bad television, it only makes it television that’s bad for you.

Why? Well, because it feels as if Marc Cherry wants us to be be left with the impression that women must either be unthreatening, imperfect and relatable - or glamorous, inspirational and desirable. Both are limiting caricatures.

And, frankly, we’d rather stick to cultivating a personality and interests instead of perfecting a persona. Unglamorous as that may be.

‘Desperate Housewives’ is a show with a future - and it’s here! [NY Daily News]