Horrific plastic surgery procedures: Not just for the ladies! High-profile men have increasingly gone under the knife in order to make their profiles even higher and more confoundedly askew. From brow lifts to pec implants, male celebrities are helpfully showing the rest of us what to stay away from. Unless you enjoy looking like a molten Shrinky Dink. In which case, more power to you. Now, enjoy our list of the Top 10 Most Horrific Plastic Surgery Procedures For Men. Or “T10MHOSOFM,” if you prefer:

10. Thierry Mugler

The French designer once resembled a human (that’s him on the left, with fellow designer Jean Paul Gaultier). And a cute human at that! Unfortunately for the sighted, Thierry elected to undergo a series of cosmetic procedures, bulk up to resemble something like a hippopotamus crowning, and rename himself “Manfred.” Because why not?

9. Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood was, at one point, pretty damn fine in his handsome, squinty way. But then, somewhere down the road, he started to look like a very handsome, squinty man caught in some headlights. Shame.

8. Kenny Rogers

Kenny Rogers perpetually lazy eyes, the result of a botched eye lift, make him look both drunk and vaguely amused. His newly acquired golden-brown crust of a skin make him resemble a delicious Kenny Rogers rotisserie chicken.

7. Walter Mercado

Up until we were about seven, we thought Walter Mercado was one of the prettiest old ladies we’d ever seen. We have no idea what he looked like before his various facial peels, nose jobs and brow lifts. Probably because he emerged, fully formed, from Liberace’s piano.

6. Gary Busey

Why are we suddenly in the mood for gum?

5. Bruce Jenner

Former Olympian and current stepfather to Kim Kardashian, Bruce Jenner, used to be so adorable with his stupid little haircut and humanoid face. Now he looks sort of like a flesh-eating zombie who is slowly decomposing. Which is adorable in its own way, we suppose.

4. Mickey Rourke

Actor Mickey Rourke is completely molded out of used condoms, masking tape and Gack. True story.

3. Pete Burns

Pete Burns, formerly the lead singer of Dead or Alice, famously sang “You Spin Me Round.” He then morphed into Cher and became a reality TV contestant and frequent tabloid fodder. He still spins us right ‘round — not unlike, say, a record — but we worry for him and his stiff upper lip / lower lip / nostrils / forehead, etc.

2. Carrot Top

We once got incredibly drunk at a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We had only eaten a small carton of Top Ramen that day, because we’re poor, and, with a friend, polished off an entire bottle of vanilla-flavored vodka mixed with orange soda. The resulting vomit was florescent orange, stringy and splattered all over our fingerless lace gloves and PVC leggings. What does this have to do with Carrot Top? Everything.

1. Michael Jackson

Liza Minnelli is looking awful these days.

Bad Male Plastic Surgery [Make Me Heal]
The 15 Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgery Disasters You Will Ever See [Top Socialite]