We’ve been staring at this picture for a full minute now and we’ve realized two things: We desperately want a Happy Meal, and we just don’t get Jaslene Gonzalez. We do think her face photographs beautifully in magazines but, otherwise, she strikes us as unappealing. And that’s fine! She’s doing her thing, making money, selling… things. Or whatever it is that she does. And she does provide us with an easy way of demonstrating what not to wear. We mean, you know. You can wear these things all you like. We’re just going to make sure to walk on the opposite side of the street. We still love you, though. Kinda.

More of Jaslene’s nonsense and some friendly advice, after the jump:

So that top photo. Look. It’s important, we feel, when wearing an outfit, to allow you to be the most beautiful part of your ensemble. Your outfit should ideally either make people go “that girl looks good in that outfit!” or “that outfit looks good on that girl!” And not “what the fuck is up with this girl and where is the rest of her outfit?” Boobs are fun! They’re great. But unless you’re sunbathing on the Riviera, it’s probably best to keep them covered. You wouldn’t want people to think you’re starved. For attention.

Accessories can really compliment an outfit and/or the wearer, but they also run the risk of making you look like you are maybe prone to wheeling around several cats in a stolen shopping cart while humming to yourself and warning strangers about Jesus’ second coming. They can also, when worn incorrectly, chop up one’s body into segments instead of creating a harmonious, streamlined look. Steer clear of adding unnecessary ornamentation. In the case of this outfit, losing either the belt or the tights would have made for a cleaner look.

Wearing clothes that fit is usually a good thing.

Sometimes, however, you can throw together a whole lot of “No” and it can come out looking like a “Well… ok. Maybe?” Such is the case with this particular outfit. High waisted skinny jeans? Difficult to pull off on many body types. Ruffles? Add bulk to a lot of figures. Gold cropped jackets? Are best left to fabulous coked-out disco queens. Like Jaslene. (Kidding…) On their own, all these different elements seem questionable, but we really do think they make a pretty cool-looking outfit on Jaslene.

Which goes to show that, sometimes, it’s best to leave throw rules out the window and go with what you like.

(Just, please. Put on a top?)