We love Americans because Americans know how to nip things in the bud. When George Bush’s shitty economy began to aversely affect the Chicago suburb of Lynwood, Illinois, the God-fearing folks there knew just what to do. Outlaw teen pants.

Eugene Williams is the mayor of Lynwood. He says young men walk around town half-dressed, keeping major retailers and economic development away. He calls the new law a hot topic.

Hot Topic—now there’s a store that probably sells deuce pants. Shockingly, the American Civil Liberties Union had something to say about this issue. Basically they feel the new law, which would fine offenders $25 for showing three inches or more of underwear, targets men of color.

As women who are related to men of color we find that statement racist. We’d say a more accurate description is that it targets men who like to look like they took a deuce in their pants. Some of them are even white. We found pictures. Still we’re not sure this new law is going to help the community attract commerce. If they really want to make some money, they should embrace this teenage style they seem to have an over abundance of and only sell pants that are 10 inches too big in the waist with boxers already attached. Come on, Lynwood. We smell a great idea! Or is that a deuce in your pants?

It’s the law: No sagging pants in Chicago suburb [AP]