“La Chica FX” is a new reality series aimed at finding the “ideal woman,” who will then go on to write a comprehensive handbook on how to become the type of girl guys go for. It’ll probably be written in crayong and glitter pens because, let’s face it, you don’t have to have a brain to give brain.

The contestants, who hail from Mexico, Argentina, Brazil, Venezuela, Colombia and Chile, will live together in a house as they are given several assignments to perform in an attempt to seduce their judges. Assignments like, say, shaking one’s implants at a crowd of strange, cheering, hirsute men to a veritable symphony of sound effects most commonly found in cartoons from the 1950s. Extra points if you strip down to a pair of pasties while letting a stranger jiggle your boobs. So, you know. It’s actually not any different from any American reality TV show.

After the jump, one of the contestant’s casting tapes:

Watching a woman go into sexy convulsions while wearing a bathing suit is always delightful. Take care not to swallow your tongue, pumpkin.

Here’s a secret, ladies: A lot of men — not all, but a whole lot — don’t require a lot of finesse or calculating to get. It doesn’t take a manual, a guide book, or a strategy. And those are exactly the kind of men you’re going to want to avoid.

Sinopsis [La Chica FX]