Love In The Time Of Bloggera: Gabriel Answers Sex And Relationship Questions

We live in a culture that is constantly bombarding us with contradictory messages about sex and relationships. Images of sex are everywhere, and yet talking openly and honestly about sex to young and impressionable people is still considered taboo. I’m here to honestly and respectfully answer all of those nagging questions about sex and relationships that you’re afraid to ask your abuela. So send your burning love, sex, and relationship questions to gabriel@guanabee.com. I’ll keep your name private. And your shame public.

This week: White women as trophies and piercing yo’ clit.

Dear Gabriel,

Not White Girl

Dear Not White Girl,

Kentucky Fried Chicken, the ultimate barometer of sexual politics in communities of color, finally put an end to this debate when they started charging more money for white meat than dark. All of a sudden a white breast was “better” than a dark thigh. Never mind that, as with women, dark chicken meat is tastier. WTF, dude?

In politics and every other facet of our lives, the media informs and influences the way we should think and feel about the things around us. Movies are a perfect example. To this day, the Latino characters we see on the television and film are predominately hookers, drug dealers, pimps, or dancers. And chances are they also possess a shiny, wet back. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that what they see on TV and film is the truth. Although most of these stereotypes stem from plain ignorance, (i.e., television and film writers are predominately white), it is hardly shocking to see so many people like your friends believing that white, when it comes to one’s sexual object choice, is better than not. Granted, it is stupid and narrow and racist but yes, I believe most men feel this way. Except for Barrack Obama. And chocolate-loving Robert De Niro, who as comedian Paul Mooney said, if you ever see De Niro with a white woman, he’s holding her for the police.

But seriously, your friends need to be educated about the false indoctrination they have received. The ultimate prize when it comes to sex and love is the person who respects and admires you for who you are. And is not afraid to share his bucket of fried chicken.

Cariños,

–G

Dear Gabriel,

–Name Withheld

Dearest,

If your body were the city of New York, your clitoris would probably be Times Square. Electric, exciting, and usually filled with tourists. It is also filled with nerve endings, which means that piercing it has the potential of hyper-stimulating you or numbing the sensation out of your clit. The people that I know generally consider clitoral piercings to be somewhat overrated, although I have heard that some women feel like they are always on the edge of orgasm. Even walking around. Personally, I’d rather walk around with a Ben & Jerry’s pint. The effects are more or less the same.

If you do decide to go through with it, make sure you go to a reputable place. I advise “shopping” around and talking with different piercers until you find somebody that you feel comfortable with. Also, make sure you bring a friend. And please eat something about one or two hours before you get your holiest place pierced. Although piercers advise never to drink alcohol before getting pierced, I did find that a nice 32 oz. glass of wine before I got pierced really helped me relax. Also, if you do get your clitoris pierced, please send me a photo. I’m in the market for a new computer desktop wallpaper.

Cariños,

–G