Miss USA Crystle Stewart Claims Fall As Potential Conspiracy. Miss Colombia Denies Any Involvement.

This year’s Miss Universe 2008 competition in Vietnam wasn’t all Wookies in red bikinis and a meeting of minds that would put MENSA to shame. Current Miss USA and Rihanna clone Crystle Stewart totally slipped and fell on her ass in glittery shame, but got back to her feet immediately. And clapped for herself. (Do you know who else claps for herself? A four-year-old at her My Little Pony themed birthday party after successfully blowing out half her candles.) Last year, Miss USA Rachel Smith also landed on her bottom in Mexico City. When Stewart was asked if she believed there was a conspiracy against Miss USA, she responded:

Maybe somebody dropped marbles or something. It’s just such a coincidence that two years back-to-back Miss USA falls.

The theory is not entirely crazy. Last year, Miss Puerto Rico complained her swimsuit and evening gown had been pepper-sprayed - causing major rashes on her skin which temporarily turned her into an ewok . An investigation later proved that Miss Puerto Rico’s dress has indeed been tampered with, although she went to win the pageant anyway.

We did hear that Miss Colombia Taliana Vargas had been taking some homeopathic medicine — those little round transparent granules you place under your tongue — to relieve her constipation. Did Miss Colombia spread some of those on the floor right before Miss Steward took the stage? Hmm.