Do you enjoy dressing small, furry rodents in various costumes, often involving miniature hats that require the use of various staples to stay put? Do you then like to eat the animal you’ve just mortified and tortured? Huacho, Peru has got just the festival for you, you terrible, terrible person. Welcome to the third annual Festival of the Guinea Pig:

The celebration of the ‘cuy’, as guinea pigs are known in the Andes, also included contests for the biggest, fastest, best-dressed and, finally, tastiest animal of all.

While the lucky guinea pigs at the festival escaped with only the indignity of being turned into kings, miners and Peruvian peasants for the day, the less fortunate ended up on a plate.

God, we really don’t know which is worse: Having to put tiny fingerless lace gloves on those creepy, pink, little person hands, or eating something with creepy, pink, little person hands. Fortunately (?), some Andean chefs are attempting to present cuy in a way that’s more palatable to potential international consumers:

Some cooks chopped off the head and paws - cuy is traditionally served whole in the Andes - in the hope that it would sell better among foreigners for whom the fluffy rodents were once childhood pets.

“Here we are trying to show all the work implied, their breeding, their diet, how we can get a better product, we are trying to present it to the world so that people don’t have any prejudices,” said chef Pilar Fox.

Yes, because every single time we see a picture of a baby chick wearing a bonnet, the first thing we want to do is take a big bite out of its face. No.

However, if you really must dress these disgusting mutant-baby things in clothing, might we suggest this site, which caters to all your sartorial guinea pig needs? How very precious. Those little gingham dresses really bring out the insane in your pet’s beady, demonic eyes.

Guinea Pigs Dress Up For Dinner [Sky News]