“Plum Parties,” For All Your Break-Up Celebration Needs

31 July 2008, 6:00 PM. By Daniel Mauser

. 4 Comments

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Did you catch your husband or boyfriend in Trouble… the college student across the hall who moonlights as a “dancer?” Well, cheer up, you unloved hag, because Plum Party has a spectacular “Break Up Party” gift package just for you!:

Breaking up is hard to do… Unless you invite all the girls over and have fun while you wash that man right out of your hair. The press really loves this party and so will you! Cover those cryin’ eyes with some cool shades, polish your nails - and put on some belly button tattoos. Let all your frustrations out with our cuddly voo-doo doll and a few magical incantations. Then gain some feel good vibes playing Go Goddess. We’re watching our orders ’cause we’re sure Sarah Jessica Parker and the rest of the Sex and the City gals will order this party (over and over again).


We’d rather send an ex a flaming bag of poo and have sex with a stranger. Like his brother. Or, um. Be a mature about a break up by moving on gracefully and keeping our emotions hidden away until the moment we break down screaming in front of the condom display at the local pharmacy, or in front of the doulbe-AA batteries in search of our own brand of “good vibes.” But then we’ll look down at our totally fabulous belly button tattoo and know what we have our Cosmo-soaked gal pals in our corner. :-)

Tell us. How do you get over a bad break-up?

Break-Up Party [Plum Party]

4 Comments

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Comments(4) feed

  1. Lola del Rio
    (+1)
    lola del rio wrote

    a belly tattoo sure as fuck won’t do the trick.

  2. (+1)
    el smrtmnky wrote

    i wonder how SJP would handle her plum party.

    what? too soon?

  3. (+1)
    el smrtmnky wrote

    better than a lemon party, though.

  4. Latin_Princess
    (+1)
    Latin_Princess wrote

    Getting over a bad break-up sure as hell does not involve jelly beans, little tiny nail polishes and a whole bucket of sunglasses. Unless that is the middle school “Break Up Party” pack.

    I would like the party pack with sleeping pills, my own curandera and a few buckets chilling some wine.

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