A fashion show producer is claiming to have “swapped spit” with Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen. And, because he’s such a jokester, he meant it in a “sort of, well, technically maybe” kinda way. Meaning? He ate Gisele’s used gum:

“The producer noticed Gisele chomping on a wad of gum and ordered her to spit it out, so she spit it into his hand,” a source tells Star. The producer happily popped the ABC gum into his mouth and started chewing. Ewww! He liked it and the source says he was bragging up his brush with Gisele

“All night he told everyone he was swapping spit with Gisele!”

Oh, laugh laugh. We don’t really think Tom Brady has much to worry about, considering chewing someone else’s used gum is about three little steps away from weaving a coat out of a stranger’s hair. We cannot help but feel that chewing previously used gum and giving other the impression that you made out with a celebrity is in somewhat poor taste. Since we care about you and your celebrity transactions, we’ve decided to put together a comprehensive list of Do’s and Don’ts when meeting famous people. Our helpful guide, after the jump:

DO:

Tell a celebrity how much you admire their work. It’s nice to be complimented on a job well done by people who are beneath you and will likely never amount to anything more than desperate celebrity worship.

DON’T:

Interrupt a celebrity with he or she is giving the impression of eating. It is annoying and rude to butt in on another’s farcical display of calorie consumption.

DO:

Ask for an autograph, provided you have brought your own pen and paper / exposed limb. Signatures on flesh should be best left to C and D-list celebrities, to be then tattooed and displayed across the internet, elevating the wearer to the heights of F-list celebrity.

DON’T:

Wait outside a celebrity’s home. Whether or not you are wearing pants is irrelevant. This gives the impression of desperation and how will a famous person ever notice you were two halves of the same soul torn asunder if you violate your restraining order?

DO:

Politely ask for a photograph, should you feel so inclined. Refrain, however, from being surprised when a celebrity proceeds to claw your face off and scream that you are invading their privacy in the midst of shopping on Robertson with an entourage of twenty-seven people.

DON’T:

Chew other people’s gum and then “sort of lie” about making out with them. Herpes is still herpes, even if it comes from Gisele Bundchen.

Should Tom Brady Worry: Producer Brags He ‘Swapped Spit’ With Gisele Bundchen [National Ledger]