By now, we’re all familiar with such unnerving yet eternally fascinating bodily functions as “sharting” (an overachieving instance of flatulence) and “snarting” (a sneeze with a surprise) and “giving your boyfriend a rusty trombone at his parents’ house while wearing rollerskates and a ski mask.” But, every once in a while, a new type of emission comes along (Hint!) to make us marvel anew at all the human body is capable of. Take what happens to this crazy old coot, for instance:

QUESTION: I am a 50 year old male, and lately I have noticed that sometimes when I have a bowel movement when I push really hard, that semen ejaculates from my penis, even when it is limp. This also usually happens when I have not ejaculated for some time. Is this normal?

Well, you learn something new every day. The answer to this poor man’s problem, for those of you with steadily decomposing sugar daddies or whatever, is after the jump:

ANSWER: Sometimes when men have a bowel movement, the feces pushes on the prostate; the prostate may be stimulated by either the pressure of the waste matter in the rectum or by the muscular straining as waste is pushed out. The main function of the prostate is to supply fluid for the sperm during ejaculation. If the prostate gland is stimulated, fluid production may begin and could cause semen to appear in the urine; it may also cause semen to `ejaculate’ from the penis during a bowel movement. This is normal; however, if accompanied by pain or burning, this may indicate a possible infection or disorder of the male reproductive organs. If you are concerned about `ejaculating’ during bowel movements or are experiencing any pain or burning, it is recommended that you discuss these concerns with your physician.

Giggle! Boys are so weird!

The Wellness Center [UIC]