Madonna’s little — alleged — tryst with ball-toucher or whatever Alex Rodriguez is surprising only because we tend to forget either of them exist.

Because, as it turns out, Madonna actually has quite a history of dating (or having alleged affairs with) Latinos and with dabbling in different aspects of Hispanic history and culture, usually as a means to promote Latino culture. Haha, just kidding. To promote herself, obviously. We thought it would be kind of interesting to look back on different instances throughout Madonna’s career in which she wore Hispanic culture like a costume. And wore Latin men. And, in one case, a Latina.

A timeline of Madonna’s Latino-no’s, after the jump:

In 1987, Madonna professed her love (Or, you know. Appropriated for herself as costume.) for Latino culture through her single “La Isla Bonita:”

Truly, a Spanish lullabye. (Off topic: Those eyebrows really work for her, no? Nicely done, Madge.) Moving on…

In 1991’s Truth or Dare, there was a scene in which Madonna threw a dinner party in Madrid for the sole purpose of meeting her crush - one Antonio Banderas. When Madonna discovered that Antonio was married, she did what any woman of class and refinement would do—had his wife seated at a separate table. Antonio would become her co-star five years later in Evita.

Sometime around 1992, Madonna became BFF with Cuban nightclub owner Ingrid Casares. Casares appeared in Madonna’s book, Sex, released that same year. Many speculate the two had a romantic relationship, probably because Ingrid has short hair. The two remained friends for many years but have never commented on the nature of their relationship other than occasionally regurgitating into one another’s mouths in view of photographers.

Madonna continued using the “Latino lover” in her subsequent videos, like 1994’s “Take a Bow” which featured a bullfighter as Madonna’s scorned romantic interest:

Then, sometime in the mid 90s, came Cuban personal trainer Carlos Leon. Which resulted in the conception of Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes. Who is like an exact replica of Madonna, except tiny and awesome.

In 1996, Madonna embarrassed her way through the film version of Evita, in the title role of Argentina’s former first lady:

And, now, there’s the whole Alex Rodriguez thing. Now, we really don’t care who Madonna has sex with, no matter how much she tries to shove it into our faces in books, videos, songs, concert performances, photo ops, interviews, etc. But we’ve got to admit it irks us that she wears different Hispanic cultures like a sweat-stained leotard she can pull on and off.

So, you know. Go ahead and wear A-Rod like some kind of ill-advised bit of stinky Spandex. But please leave other people’s heritage out of it.