Our very favorite porn channel, The Food Network, aired the season finale of “The Next Food Network Star” last night. And we felt torn as to who to root for. One the one hand, we had a guy with pirate earrings who made fried plantains. Yum! On the other hand, another contestant made “Beer Can Chicken.” Drunk! And then on some third, possibly malformed, mutant hand, there was a Latina contestant, Lisa Garza, with a hot haircut and cute necklace. Who won? We wouldn’t dare spoil the surprise, so you’ll have to watch the clip to find out. And if you find out how we can become BFF with Lisa, do let us know. We totally want to borrow every dress she wore in this episode.