“The Next Food Network Star” Finale Shows Platanitos And Latinas Like Lisa Garza Are Always A Hit With Viewers
28 July 2008, 4:15 PM. By Daniel Mauser
Our very favorite porn channel, The Food Network, aired the season finale of “The Next Food Network Star” last night. And we felt torn as to who to root for. One the one hand, we had a guy with pirate earrings who made fried plantains. Yum! On the other hand, another contestant made “Beer Can Chicken.” Drunk! And then on some third, possibly malformed, mutant hand, there was a Latina contestant, Lisa Garza, with a hot haircut and cute necklace. Who won? We wouldn’t dare spoil the surprise, so you’ll have to watch the clip to find out. And if you find out how we can become BFF with Lisa, do let us know. We totally want to borrow every dress she wore in this episode.
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Its my favorite porn channel too, Paula Dean being my favorite “performer.”
More butter Paula? Oooh you’re a bad bad girl! Putting cheese ontop and deep frying it? OH YOU’VE GOT ME SO CLOSE BABY! Ooooooohhhhh yeaaaahhhhhh
Lisa’s the Latina contestant? But… she’s my least favorite. In fact, I hate her and how uptight and overbearing she is. She can’t be Latina!!!
One the one hand?
I thought I was dyslexic for a second there.
Lisa is sometimes spotted at Suze, the restaurant in Dallas that she owns with her husband Gilbert Garza. There are many times I wanted to steal the clothing off her body and run for my life down Northwest Highway.