Watchando: Baby Valentina? Still Richer Than You.

Baby Valentina shopped with mom Salma Hayek and family in Malibu. Because she needed to pick up some hot new shoes. [dlisted]
In a story that is entirely real and not at all made up, Jay-Z demanded a watermelon carved in the shape of wife Beyonce’s breasts. This is not unlike the reason we so enjoy eating nectarines in pairs. After balancing them on our chin. On webcam. [Showbiz Spy]
Louis Vuitton’s new “Monogram Jokes” handbags feature cheesy jokes on $2,000 bags. Which is hilarious, because we can people to laugh at our fashion choices for around $9.99. [the.Life files]
Cristiano Ronaldo has broken up with his stupid girlfriend, Nereida Gallardo. A timeline of herquest for ~~love~~ fame, eyebrows be damned, courtesy of Machochip. [Machochip]