Despite what a lot of haters, like TV hosts and the Catholic Church and some abuelitas shouting at the TV in their rollers, are saying about Ricky Martin’s decision to poop out some twins via surrogate, Chayanne — dark lord of the undead — is happy for his fellow Puerto Rican:

“I haven’t yet been able to talk with Ricky, but I’m happy for him. Each person makes decisions differently and has his own ideas on what they want in life. As a father myself, I’m so happy with my children and I know what Ricky has in store for him is a great, new stage in his life. And I know that he’s going to enjoy it immensely because one of life’s most beautiful gifts is knowing you have someone to protect and to teach how to fly.”

Teaching babies to fly? Dangerous! Unless you’re a pajarito. Gasp! We see what you did there! For shame, Chayanne. For shame. Your penance? A DANCE-OFF! Commence:

In this corner: Chayanne, with “Caprichosa”

And in the other corner: Ricky Martin, with “La Bomba”

The winner? Long-sleeved, form-fitting, solid-colored T-shirts. Obviously.

Un vampiro en San Juan [El Nuevo Dia]
Earlier: LatiNo-No’s: People Are Pissed At Ricky Martin’s Method Of Babymaking