Eva Longoria is a woman. Did you know this? And, because she’s a woman, she really digs participating in womanly past times like participating in beauty pageants and idealizing a time when women had little rights and respect:

On being a wife: “I’m a 1950s housewife. I love baking. I love sewing. Being home with Tony. My mother was like that. Always took care of her husband. I always admired and wanted to do that.”

Is it possible to take care of one’s husband without glamorizing limiting gender roles? No? Ok.

On how winning a beauty pageant changed her life: I love pageants. In Texas, it’s like the culture. If you’re a woman, you have to do pageants. If you’re a boy, you have to be a football player. In my pageant package, I won a trip to Hollywood to compete in a talent competition. And I said, I’m going to go. It would be fun to go for a week to Hollywood. So I came, and I never went home. I fell in love with L.A. I happened to become an actor and it was really all so fast. I didn’t even go home to pack. I had my mom send my clothes. I never went back.

Yes, that’s right. Cindy is forever telling us about her pageant days when she was but a little wisp of a Cindicita. Also, football? Gross! Oh, and, because life as a 1950s housewife isn’t just handed to you on a silver platter:

On inheriting her parents’ work ethic: They were like, if you want something you work for it. Nothing’s ever been handed to anyone in my family. My parents are the hardest working people that I never knew. They are retired now. Latinos are hard workers.

She has obviously not met our uncles. Look. Being a housewife is great. But Eva Longoria isn’t one. She’s a rich actress. And the idea that being a housewife from a time where many had no choice but to be one - not because they particularly wanted to, but because options were limited and social stigmas against “career girls” prevailed - is something to aspire to is just kind of silly.

We are totally not inviting Eva to our Tupperware party. Marge is bringing her Jell-O salad and it’s going to be awesome.

Latina.com Exclusive: Eva Longoria Parker [Latina]