Eva Longoria hosted the ALMA Awards last night, as she often does between telling us how happily married she is, and astounded audiences of about 12 Longorias in Texas with 10 costume changes throughout the ceremony. And, lest she be accused of subtlety, she also changed her hairstyle approximately 7,563 times during the course of the evening.

For her first outfit, Eva showed up to the awards’ red carpet wearing that blue thing from Forever 21, with Tony Parker at her side looking thrilled as usual.

Want to know what else she wore? Too bad; they’re all after the jump. The Good, The Bad, and The Mildly Stupefying:

The Feather Duster

We love Eva’s hair here. It looks sleek, fresh and unfussy. The same, however, can’t be said of her black evening dress, which looks a bit like what would happen if three different gowns became involved in an ill-advised threesome and had to all leave awkwardly on the subway together the next morning.

The Jessica McClintock Clearance Rack

This dress probably cost a bajillion dollars and forty-three cents, but it looks exactly like at least seven different dresses we passed on in high school. The polyester raccoon on her head is kind of cute, though.

Some Pink Thing

Yes, Eva, we see you. You’re dressed in about 20 bathroom tissues and some dental floss. Good for you.

Katie Holmes Already Did This

It’s true.

Jesus Christ, This Is Tedious

We can’t remember this dress. And we’re looking right at it.

Disney World Couture

We think we have like seven childhood pictures taken with a young woman, clearly drunk, wearing this dress in front of Cinderella’s castle. We’re guessing the woman worked at Disney World or something.

Zzzz… Oh! Is That A Pregnancy Rumor We See?

Work through the nearly debilitating sense of boredom this dress inspires and focus on Eva’s belly. She’s cradling it kind of, no? She either ate before the ceremony or is roughly three months pregnant with Mario Lopez’s love child.

This Is Ok

We like this. Not sure about the placement of the glittery hooplah cositas but the fabric is kind of cool and her haircut is flattering.

This One’s Red

And now Eva’s blonde. Fascinating.

Eva Longoria steals the show at latino awards with an amazing TEN costume changes [Daily Mail]