Hey VIP travelers, not getting enough VIP treatment on your vacations? Like the valet won’t give you a blowjob? Well Viking’s Exotic Resort, located in the Dominican Republic, features not only air-conditioned villas on white sand beaches, but “a stunning array of sensuously beautiful women, selectively picked from the most exotic regions of the world.” Which we take to mean Russian mail-order brides in white slavery. Guests are flown in and, upon arrival, treated to a welcome cocktail party where they get to choose their companion or companions for the weekend depending on which package they paid for. From their website (whose url is cat69.com, natch):

While some in America scoff at [proprietor Dean] Grant’s business, that business is booming as men and women from all walks of life lay down $3900 and more to let their fantasies run wild, and in his defense, Grant points to the local laws which say his enterprise is not only 100% legal, but great for local business.

Says Grant, “Why not once in a while splash out and let your secret fantasies run wild, in a place designed to cater to your every need, with women who genuinely enjoy your company?”

Oh we’re sure they genuinely enjoy it. Just like the locals:

Grant stresses that while this kind of resort might not play in Peoria, in his private paradise, his guests are revered and welcomed by the locals. “Why would they complain? We employ local people as staff, we bring in guests with a lot of money to spend, and when they see our guests step out of a limousine with four models on their arm, I dare say they wouldn’t mind staying at the resort themselves.”

Ah imperialism. Friend to the happy native.

REAL LIFE ‘RICARDO MONTALBAN’ PROVES EXECUTIVE ENTERTAINMENT CAN MEAN MORE THAN DINNER AND A MOVIE [Vikings Exotic Resort]