Guess Who Sleeps Tonight?: Mexican Woman Celsa Aleman Uses Machete To Fight Lion

A Mexican woman was going out for a nice, scenic donkey ride in Acapulco with her seven-year-old niece when the two were attacked by a 500 pound lion. No, not Carlos Slim. That’s mean!

Celsa fought off the lion with a machete, because she wanted to protect her niece and is a total fucking badass lady. Also, call us crazy, but we think this little story inadvertently solved a mystery:

The state government said in a statement that the lion had escaped from a private zoo owned by a former local congressman. It said the animal killed two dogs and ate a pig before it was sedated and taken back to the zoo.

Two dogs and a pig, eh? Did the lion then perhaps send them on a little boat over to the once-pristine shores of Montauk?! Case closed.

Mexican woman fights off lion with machete [Boston.com]