Make Jessica Alba Proud: Shake That (Pixellated) Ass All Over Second Life

We’ve all dreamed of looking like Jessica Alba, and some of us have even spent hours in front of the mirror pouting in our best imitation of her. (Ha! Not us, of course.) Well, here’s some good news for Albatards: If you play Second Life, you can buy provocative “poses” that make your character pose just like Jessica! Internet be praised.

Second Life alllows you to create your own character and make them do or say anything in a virtual world. There is even a world currency called a “linden dollar” (200 Linden dollars = $1 U.S.), which players use to buy and sell virtual goods. So you can take the money you earn in real life and then spend it on imaginary money, in order to buy imaginary things. We see no flaw in that. Here’s a sample of what you could buy for just 400 Linden dollars:

Hot! And so realistic! Thank you, seller “Zelly Mornington.” We could never have achieved the signature legs-crossed-hands-on-hips Alba look without you.

And this item is actually pretty innocent for Second Life, which is often criticized for being a haven for creepy 40-year-olds pretending to be buxom red-heads named “Sassy Bunz.” It came out last year that a special pet unicorn was available, but you could only acquire it through severely questionable means, a.k.a. making your character get biblically acquainted with a full-size unicorn…
Terrifying story and pictures here. (NSFW, unless you work in a fantasy stable from Hell.)

So, you know what? If you want to pose like Jessica, more power to you. You go ahead and blow those two dollars. Because on the grand moral scale of things, wanting to be Alba is way better than wanting to be date-raped by a unicorn.

Jessica Alba Poses 10 Pack [SL Universe]