Montauk Monster Is Brazilian Pig...Of Course
There’s a new theory over at Gawker that the Montauk Monster is a pig. Well, we could have told you that by the way he just passes out in public. But there are actual scientific facts to back this up:
In all the pictures, its big canine teeth are visible on the bottom of its mouth but not on top. Dogs generally have their biggest canines on top plus a couple of smaller ones on the bottom. You know who has big canines on the bottom? Pigs! See the picture, [at] top, via the wildlife blogger behind Animal Tourism, who first floated the pig theory.
The Animal Tourism pig theory is here, but what about the Brazilian part, you axe? Well that’s where an email tip Gawker received a few days ago comes in:
The monster is a capibarra, a wild pig/rat from South America, it is considered a delicacy in Brazil. Taste like Chicken! I’ve had it and its not bad. To prepare it you can drop it boiling water to remove the skin, then roast it.
There you have it folks. The South American diet once again terrifies El Norte. Also, this officially makes Monty, Montinaldo and part of our domain. Puxa Meu!
Is The Montauk Monster Satan’s Bacon? [Gawker]
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Gabriel Caro - Camilla Rowan
They found the devil’s bacon.
The Voice: It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell’s half-acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise from the evil eggs of dark chicken forces beaten into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal, which has maggots for blood.
Frylock: See? Told ya.
Master Shake: [Pause] I tasted mustard.
The Voice: …Yeah, Dijon mustard.
Master Shake: How come no bacon?
The Voice: Bacon is extra!
Master Shake: You call this a sandwich and you don’t even have bacon on it!
The Voice: There are no swine evil enough to be sacrificed upon a bed of evil! … And lettuce. Bed of evil and lettuce!
Posted by Maria_Elena18 | August 04, 2008
the vote here in Brazil is that, yes… it is a capibarra… or at least our Carioca friend drunk on Cachaca last night claims.
love from South America
Posted by Ariana | August 04, 2008
Do I get points for proclaiming it to be a “wild boar”?
Posted by Marco | August 04, 2008
It’s just a dog. The thing is bloated because it was under water and its face looks that way because it has been eaten by fish. Just a dog, folks.
Posted by Mike | August 04, 2008
A capibarra is not a pig, it is a rodent. It is related to the guinea pig (also not a pig). Different branch of the taxonomic tree.
Posted by Sane | August 15, 2008
It’s a decomposed pig. Wow, I cannot believe people don’t see this. You can see where the snout was but now all you see is the sinus cavity. Fish ate the snout. Also you can see it’s bristles (hair) partially. Even the ears are the same.
Posted by gabriel | August 20, 2008