Montauk Monster Is Brazilian Pig…Of Course
4 August 2008, 10:30 AM. By Guanabee Staff
There’s a new theory over at Gawker that the Montauk Monster is a pig. Well, we could have told you that by the way he just passes out in public. But there are actual scientific facts to back this up:
In all the pictures, its big canine teeth are visible on the bottom of its mouth but not on top. Dogs generally have their biggest canines on top plus a couple of smaller ones on the bottom. You know who has big canines on the bottom? Pigs! See the picture, [at] top, via the wildlife blogger behind Animal Tourism, who first floated the pig theory.
The Animal Tourism pig theory is here, but what about the Brazilian part, you axe? Well that’s where an email tip Gawker received a few days ago comes in:
The monster is a capibarra, a wild pig/rat from South America, it is considered a delicacy in Brazil. Taste like Chicken! I’ve had it and its not bad. To prepare it you can drop it boiling water to remove the skin, then roast it.
There you have it folks. The South American diet once again terrifies El Norte. Also, this officially makes Monty, Montinaldo and part of our domain. Puxa Meu!
Related:
Monty’s BACK!!! The Montauk Monster Has Returned For Summer 2009
Weekend Monster Mash: Montauk Monster Is Not From A Movie, Bigfoot Hunters Fail To Bring The Goods, Chupacabra Still At Large
New Photos, Witnesses Of The Montauk Monster Appear
Danny Glover Snoozes During “Meeting Of Cultural Cinema Of Black Brazil, Africa and The Americas.”
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They found the devil’s bacon.
The Voice: It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell’s half-acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise from the evil eggs of dark chicken forces beaten into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal, which has maggots for blood.
Frylock: See? Told ya.
Master Shake: [Pause] I tasted mustard.
The Voice: …Yeah, Dijon mustard.
Master Shake: How come no bacon?
The Voice: Bacon is extra!
Master Shake: You call this a sandwich and you don’t even have bacon on it!
The Voice: There are no swine evil enough to be sacrificed upon a bed of evil! … And lettuce. Bed of evil and lettuce!
the vote here in Brazil is that, yes… it is a capibarra… or at least our Carioca friend drunk on Cachaca last night claims.
love from South America
Do I get points for proclaiming it to be a “wild boar”?
It’s just a dog. The thing is bloated because it was under water and its face looks that way because it has been eaten by fish. Just a dog, folks.
A capibarra is not a pig, it is a rodent. It is related to the guinea pig (also not a pig). Different branch of the taxonomic tree.
It’s a decomposed pig. Wow, I cannot believe people don’t see this. You can see where the snout was but now all you see is the sinus cavity. Fish ate the snout. Also you can see it’s bristles (hair) partially. Even the ears are the same.
Capibarra don’t have long tails or large k9 like teeth on their bottom jaw.
that is soooooo not a capibara!!! unless in brasil they are totally different form venezuela (meaning hairless, with a different head and totally different feet - or paws or however it is called). I have no idea what it is and probably it will end up been a scam, but it is just silly to say it is a capibara:
http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archivo:Capibara_2_edit.jpg