People En Español Names Eduardo Yañez Their "Sexiest Man Of The Year"
People en Español knows what’s sexy — bare-chested men molesting dogs while in repose — and what’s not — like women. So that they decided to name novela actor Eduardo Yañez their “Sexiest Man of the Year,” should definitely be taken as capital T Truth. Because, kids, even his mind is sexy:
“My character [sic] are every woman’s dream, their prince in shining armor. That’s what makes them so sexy.”
We know that’s what we want! A shirt-averse man riding in on a horse to rescue us from ourselves. No woman’s dream would be, say, multiple princes. Or a jester. Or an equal partner and teammate. Or, gee, a princess. More sexiest men in the whole entire universe, after the jump:
Eduardo Noriega
Age: 35
Profession: Actor
Sexy because: He’s about to pull a giant double-ended dildo out of that trench.
Antonio Banderas
Age : 48
Profession: Actor
Sexy because: Of this…
Alex Gonzalez
Age : 39
Profession: Drummer for the band Maná
Sexy because: He’s named Alex, hello.
Chayanne
Age : 40
Profession: Singer/actor
Sexy because: He stands up for people and “stands up for people.” Wink, nudge, erection.
Christian Meier
Age : 38
Profession: Actor and leading man in Doña Bárbara, (Telemundo)
Sexy because: We don’t know. We already can’t remember what he looks like.
David Bisbal
Age : 29
Profession: Singer
Sexy because: He’s going to take our advice and let the curls grow back.
Ricky Martin
Age : 36
Profession: Singer
Sexy because: He’s Ricky Martin. Come on. Our nose.
Mario López
Age : 34
Profession: Actor and weekend host of Extra (NBC)
Sexy because: He is — and will always be — AC Slater, preppy. Also, omg, what a doofus. Love him.
Luis Fonsi
Age : 30
Profession: Singer
Sexy because: He makes us think of Fonzi the Bear and, alternately, “The Fonz.” Wakka wakka!
Pee Wee
Age : 19
Profession: Singer
Sexy because: No. Call us when he reaches puberty.
Robi Draco Rosa
Age : 38
Profession: Singer and composer
Sexy because: His name is so villainous! Like he’ll tie us to a train track while twirling his mustache! Not that we’re into that…
Julián Gil
Age : 37
Profession: Judge for Nuestra Belleza Latina (Univisión)
Sexy because: Zzzz.
Germán Montero
Age : 29
Profession: Singer
Sexy because: We can count on him to lend us hair gel, we suppose.
ANTHONY “ROMEO” SANTOS
Age : 27
Profession: Singer
Sexy because: People en Español decided he somehow merited having his name spelled out ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS. He must be terribly special.
Whoa! Quite the coincidence that all of the world’s sexiest men happen to be actors or singers, huh?
The Sexiest Men 2008 [People en Español]
11
- Managing Editor
Daniel Mauser
- Editor
Cindy Casares
- Associate Editor
Alex Alvarez
- Contributing Editors
Gabriel Caro - Camilla Rowan
- Video Editor
Marcelo Cunning
I don’t know about Eduardo, but that dog’s tongue has me all hot and bothered.
Posted by La Llorona | August 28, 2008
LOL at the Pee-Wee remark. I’ve been saying that every time I see him. Spare me Alex Gonzalez, all of the guys from Mana look tired and old. They should have put Beto Cuevas instead. Robi Draco Rosa is fine I agree, but doesn’t he not use that name anymore and go only by “Draco”? How can anyone forget Christian Meier? The man should have been on the cover!
Posted by Eowyn | August 28, 2008
Hellz yeah for putting Eduardo Noriega on the list. I’m having mental visions of the love scenes from Plata Quemada. But damn…..Robi Rosa needs to hang it up.
Posted by jrod | August 28, 2008
It’s so comforting that Guanadamas can be as horny and external-oriented as us gay guys. (Unless, of course, you had a male ringer write this post. And if you don’t know what a “male ringer” is, get a hepatitis shot before you research.)
And thanks for the Bandero-buns clip. And for my new favorite expression: wink, nudge, erection.
Posted by escobar | August 28, 2008
@ escobar: I’ve oft been suspected of being a gay man in disguise. Possibly on account of my penis.
tmi?
Posted by ...dijo Alex | August 28, 2008
Not that People en Español is a good barometer or nothing, but it’s interesting that the hotness thus chosen has an average age of 35.06 years. Is this an indication that Latinas like older, more geritol-minded men than their spicy twink counterparts? Fascinating. I’m glad to see that a lot of them are older than I am, even though I’m 20 minutes older than dirt. Also, there’s a certain lack of color in that man gaggle. Where the hell is Memín?
Posted by Bosrican | August 28, 2008
@ Bosrican: After the whole “Olympic slant-eye” debacle, they decided their initial idea of having all their Sexiest Men pose in blackface would not be well-received.
Posted by LaLa | August 28, 2008
That Eduardo Yañez needs to get signed on as the spokesman for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Manteca stat!
Posted by Sarah Palin | August 29, 2008
Alex Gonzalez? Ok, but would much rather prefer Fehr.
Oh yeah, PS, it’s Fozi bear.
Posted by Valerie | September 02, 2008
ANTHONY TU ESTAS PARA COMERTE TE ADORO A TI Y A LOS DE MAS CHICOS DE AVENTURA OXOX
Posted by jessica | September 06, 2008
So glad Romeo my sexy bachatero made it. So hot. Se viste bien, tiene una voz linda, y es super guapisimo. Chicas es que no hay mas que pedir. Esta como mango. Para comerse.. ja ja.. Deberia haber estado mas arriba..
LOVE AVENTURA BUT ESPECIALLY MY BABY ROMEO
Posted by Simplyme | September 18, 2008