PETA Endorses Ethical Treatment For Animals As Long As They Don't Happen To Be Mexican Or Female

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals consistently get us to consider forgoing leather and other animal products and simply eating PETA members instead. Their latest stunt involves placing billboards along the border between Mexico and the U.S. in order to let immigrants trying to cross over know that, yes, this is a country replete with insane organizations: The proposed billboards, which will appear in both English and Spanish, would warn immigrants that "If the Border Patrol Doesn't Get You, the Chicken and Burgers Will — Go Vegan."

By leaving behind a far healthier staple diet of vegetables and grains—like rice, beans, corn, peppers, and tortillas—Mexicans and other immigrants will likely find themselves fattening up on the fiberless, fatty, cholesterol-laden U.S. diet, which is linked to heart disease, various types of cancer, and strokes (our nation's three biggest killers) as well as impotence (internationally recognized killer of the mood).

Just ignore the abject poverty, please. The billboards feature "fit" Mexicans in their home country contrasted with their engorged counter-parts in the U.S, who are seen consuming high-fat foods with a glee usually reserved for stuffing down tacos al pastor. So, Mexicans, why not just eat fresh veggies and Tofurkey enchiladas and take care to avoid processed or fast food? Oh, right, because not everyone has the monetary resources to eat a healthy vegan diet and buy fresh produce or enjoy the luxury of having time to shop, prepare and cook nutritious dinners instead of working to support oneself and, quite possibly, several family members back home. And the kicker is, we know the entire organization cannot possibly be made up of remedial, naive jackasses with the combined cognitive capacity of a 12-year-old on meth. We know they're aiming for publicity. In which case: There. You're famous. You're welcome. Please consider this enough to not have to resort to covering an immigrant woman in body paint to drive your message home any further. Thanks. PETA Warns Mexican-U.S. Border Crossers [PETA]