Watchando: Now Knows Why Jermaine Clement Never Called Back

Noooooo! Jermaine Clement from “Flight of the Conchords” up and got fucking married. Closed for business time. [TVNZ]
After collectively taking over Heath Ledger’s role in The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell donated their earnings to Heath’s daughter, Matilda. Shit, we’ve got something in our eye… [Sun]
Jennifer Lopez doesn’t get why everyone’s talking about “that swimmer” in the Olympics instead of her super awesome triathlon training. [MSNBC]

Christina Applegate is cancer free! We’re still waiting on Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead sequel, Christina. [JustJared]
Lily Allen punched a girl who called for calling her a “fucking asshole.” Smile, Lily! [Sun]