MondaySeptember292008

Actresses Without Makeup Helpfully Demonstrate How To Wear Enough Makeup To Look As If You're Not Wearing Any

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We loooove makeup. Yes, we sometimes feel conflicted about our worrisome dependency on the stuff, but oh how we love it: The smell, the colors, the possible carcinogens! Swoon! Amiright ladies?

But, in an effort to advocate using less makeup as opposed to quitting it cold turkey at the risk of being perceived as not putting effort into how we look (In fact, it takes a lot of drugs to look this good, babies), let’s look at some famous examples of how to wear makeup to look as if you’re not wearing makeup! As a supermodel / actress / genetic freak. After all, we’re in an economic slump and a good way to save money is to try and lessen our dependence on beauty products that are, well. Completely unnecessary. So, in that spirit: Onward, hos!

Adriana Lima

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Adriana demonstrates how, when you’re a Brazilian model, it’s a definite DO to wear anything or nothing and still have people be completely, insanely jealous of you. DON’T make us look at her any longer. Kthanks.

Jennifer Lopez

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Jennifer Lopez shows how sort of slumping over sleepily will make you possibly look worse than not caking seventeen or so layers of bronzer and eyeshadow on your face. DON’T make a cacaface. Especially when you can afford to buy us, whole or in pieces, on the black market to satiate your undead husband’s need for virgin blood.

America Ferrera

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It’s a good thing when wearing makeup makes you look like you… only with more of a fruity vibe. America’s peachy-orange lip and cheek color make her look healthy and happy. And just… peachy. A DO! And a DON’T because, FUCK, we hate stupid fruit puns.

Dayanara Torres

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Wearing makeup that makes you like kind of a like a zombie thirsting for human blood is only cute when you know you’re going to attend a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show / are Marc Anthony. DO wear makeup that highlights your eyes, DON’T highlight your eyes in a way that sense, “I am a very hungry zombie. Hello.”

Eva Longoria

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So what’s a little lip fuzz. We think it’s better than shoveling-on ten pounds of eyeliner. DO offer ten cent mustache rides. That joke never gets old. High five!

Jessica Alba

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Jessica Alba is the cutest bare-faced whiner in the world! Why doesn’t she go out with wavy hair more often? DO not answer that question.

Roselyn Sanchez

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It’s a good sign, when forgoing makeup, that you look exactly the same. Except kind of gray and without lashes. DON’T step under unflattering lighting that makes you look kind of gray. DO follow Roselyn’s example of not total obscuring your facial features with makeup.

Salma Hayek

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DO whatever the hell you want when you’re Salma Hayek.

Cameron Diaz

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DO tell us where Cameron got that blue stone necklace. DON’T leave home without your eyebrows, as any good chola will tell you.

Celebrities Without Makeup [ONTD]

Comments

Been saying it for years, but that damn JLo isn’t anything special, you could take just about any 40ish Latina with decent skin and turn her into LA LOPEZ. That Cameron Diaz chola eyebrow thing is HILARIOUS!

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