Babies On Leashes And Puppies In Strollers

We’ve noticed many products are out there for spoiling dogs and keeping your human baby safe. But when is it too much? People who don’t want “flesh babies” might prefer getting a dog - which is a perfectly valid decision. But we would like to respectfully suggest the line be drawn at having babies on leashes while dogs ride in strollers.

Here are some prime examples of why dog owners need to get a grip:

Dog Therapy.
Really? Is fluffy still traumatized over not getting the prime teat position on her mom? Also, here’s a funny thing: dogs don’t speak English. Or speak.

Doggie Jewelry.
Tiara’s are for princesses and bratty teens coming of age. Dogs are neither of these things! Besides, chances are the dog is just going to shake the tiara off and eat it, and no one wants to explain to a vet how their dog got an ounce of swarovski crystal in its stomach.

Dog food.
Congratulations humanity, we now have kobe beef dog food. That’s right, while our babies are choking on Gerber slop, spoiled chihuahuas are being fed succulent beer-fed steak.

Dog radio.
It’s not neglect if you leave the radio on!

Reciva.com categorizes the station as “soft rock” - the playlist is meant to make the workday less lonely while the human parents are away. Soothing sounds come from artists such as, Enya, Huey Lewis, and K.C. and the Sunshine Band.

We never knew dogs liked Enya? Come, sail away, little schnauzer, to the Orinoco flow.

Dog portraits.
Portraits of royalty often included their pets, who were supposed to represent virtues such as intelligence or loyalty. Tell us, what does a Yorkie perched solo on a leopard-print daybed say about our society? Also, we can not stop staring at her ears, what the hell are those things?! More importantly, can they make her airborn?

We just hope that by the time we have kids it’s socially acceptable to make babies wear a bark collar.

[Paintedpetmenagerie.com]
[Wholepets.com]
[Justpetstrollers.com]
[Onestepahead.com]
[Pamperedpuppy.com]
Earlier: Yogurt For Dogs = Stuff For Jerk