Certain Catholic Church leaders are upset at publishing house Simon & Schuster over the book 101 Places To Have Sex Before You Die because it advocates having sex in a Church confessional. Suggests the book:

“The only sex the Church doesn’t frown upon is the married, hetrosexual and birth control-free kind, so the odds are the pope is pretty displeased with you already. Instead of carrying all that mortal sin around with you for weeks at a time until you can make it to confession, why not combine both with a quick and tidy 2-for-1 session?”

Because Satan will then sodomize you with Pope Sixtus IV’s penis. A rep for the Church called the book’s passage “sick stuff” and Bill Donohue of the Catholic League added:

“The kind of people who would have sex in the confessional would also have sex in a graveyard. And I don’t mean with each other.”

Bill Donohue? Is kind of hilarious. What’s being missed here is that the book is meant to be comedic and not, like, some sort of divinely mandated set of rules handed down from atop a mountain of burning bushes or something. Yes, having sex in a confessional is disrespectful and, depending on who you ask, deeply immoral. It’s also illegal. And nearly impossible to undergo. It’s kind of obvious to us that the book’s suggestion is a joke, and an old, tired one at that.

Wouldn’t it behoove the Church to focus on setting good examples of what they deem as healthy sexual relationships instead of making themselves look slightly ridiculous by getting upset over some dumb, gimmicky book?

SEX BOOK HAS CHURCH A TWITTER [Page Six]