A dog in rural Russellville, Alabama brought home a severed child’s foot, much to the unquestionable delight of his owners, we’re sure. WINK, NUDGE. Officials are investigating the foot, as no children have recently been reported missing in the area and no other remains seem to have been found. Police Chief Chris Hargett says that, nonetheless, investigators are fearing the worst.

This is like David Lynch meets William Faulkner only a thousand times more sad and disturbing:

The son of a homeowner spotted the family dog carrying something late Saturday and called his father, who then alerted police. Hargett said an orthopedic surgeon verified that the dog had dragged up a child’s bare foot, severed below the ankle.

The foot was found in a subdivision, Hargett said, and authorities on Sunday searched the area with cadaver-sniffing dogs without finding anything.

“A dog could have brought it so far and then another one got it,” Hargett said. “It could be miles away.”

Investigators are using a team of dogs to see if they can locate the rest of the remains, should any exist. And that concludes today’s edition of “stories we wish we’d never read.” This is the one and only time we hope this is somehow a viral marketing scheme, not unlike the mysterious mythical remains of the Montauk Monster.

Grisly find: Dog brings child’s foot to Ala. home [AP]