Eva Mendes stopped by “The Rachael Ray Show” so she could repeatedly be referred to as “sexy” and shill her stupid line of cum rags. Or bedsheets. Whatever sexy thing she’s doing now, super sexily. What do we learn about Eva? She’s sexy! And a terrific liar:

“I had one of those moments when I went, ‘Oh my God, it’s Meg Ryan!” Eva tells Rachael.

Sure. Then she gets into bed with Rachael Ray because there’s nothing like two women awkwardly sitting on a pile of pillows to get middle-aged Midwestern housewives who watch daytime TV all hot and bothered:

She then literally gets into bed with Rachael to show off her latest passion! “I’m a design freak,” Eva says. “I cut things up and sew things.” She’s turning that talent into a side business with her Macy’s home decor line called Vida. “We’re starting with bedding and we want to bring affordable design into the home.”

Then Rachael leaned close and whispered, “Hey Eva. I’m in the mood to eat out tonight. If you know what I mean!” and the crowd giggled as the two made out over a plate of fried clams. No, of course they didn’t. The dish that day was actually “Bacon Corn Chowder With Crab.” Of course. God. Who the fuck watches this show anyway?

Eva Mendes [Rachael Ray]