Ughghghghghgh. We’ve been dealing with an awful case of “whiskey mouth” today, plus a headache, plus nausea, plus horrible ladycramps in the empty cobweb-enshrouded vessel that is our uterus. Luckily, though, we had a few funny comments from you all this week to look back on with a vague recollection of what laughter felt like. Comments like those from “denise,” who has inquired after our sexuality in a way so much more subtle than our mother is prone to (ie: “Is there something the matter with you?”)

Brava, denise. Brava:

Re: For The Jerk Who Has Everything: Swarovski-Studded Contacts

my panties just got moist.

i, for some strange reason, want some. how awesome would i be at the club? then i could walk around with my grill and wink and smile at all the ladies.

You could also do as we do and take an actual George Foreman grill to clubs and parties and present to it to prospective crushes as they slowly back away from you in confusion and terror. Romance!

Re: Watchando: Loves Wedding Belles, Ellen DeGeneres And Portia De Rossi’s Wedding VIdeo

so does this mean that guanabee is a lesbian now? b/c my mom said that when you hang around lesbians and talk about them you then become one.

Only until graduation.

Enjoy your weekends, slutfaces.