Inaction Figures: Because You’ve Always Never Wanted A Sarah Palin Doll And A Barack Obama Pez Dispenser

Want to remember this historic, groundbreaking election for years to come? What? Xtube? Oh. No. Election. Yeah.

Anyway. Might we suggest investing in a plastic figure of Sarah Palin, melting, dressed as a streetwalker? Her hair is crafted from 100% fake moose! Or hows about a Pez dispenser featuring the freakishly large head of Someone Who Does Not Even Vaguely Look Like Barack Obama? Poise either on your bedside table and dream of them coming alive in the dead of night to bite your toes and eat your oddly-named children!

Lots of silliness and heaps of sheer, unbridled terror, after the jump:

Sarah Palin, seen here as a super hero exhibitionist transsexual, has the power to bore. Through Arctic wolves for oil.

Wouldn’t lie to you: This figurine is cast from Barack Obama’s actual body. Special fist-jab action included. Experience sold separately.

This John McCain figurine, also cast from Barack Obama’s body, contains a pull-string. Simply give it a tug and squeal in delight as McCain calls you a “painted trollop” while urinating on himself.

This limited edition John Edwards collector’s figure is lovingly crafted from mayonnaise and puppy calendar clippings. Illegitimate whore-child and pleat-front Dad pants sold separately.

This generic “Black man head,” operating under the assumption that all Black men look exactly the same, can also double as other White People Approved Famous Black Men (R), like Denzel Washington, Wayne Brady, Will Smith and Don Cheadle. Non-threatening, self-congratulatory fun for the entire family!

Sarah Palin Action Figures [HeroBuilders]