Mario Lopez Vows His Shirtless Days Are Behind Him. Penis Pictures It Is!

Mario Lopez? Lies through his dimples. First he’s all “Oh, I’m a professional now. So I’m not going to be rollerskating in a loin cloth anymore you guys, f’real” because now he’s a stupid “Extra” host. To wit:

“My TV projects are my main priority,” he says. “And no, you will never see me host Extra without a shirt.”

And then he’s all “Oh, but maybe I’ll let my nipples do the talking when I’m on ‘Nip / Tuck’ again.” LIES, see?!:

Lopez says he is “thrilled” to be reprising the role of Dr. Mike Hamoui on the cable series, with Dr. Mike moving to Los Angeles – where he can once again gain the attention of the ab-admiring Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) in the locker room.

“A small spoiler,” says Lopez. “Dr. Mike might not be taking anymore showers at the gym with Christian, but he will lose his shirt.”

You liar. You beautiful, buff, buttery, breakdancing liar…

Really, come on. Mario Lopez fully dressed is like blogging while sober. It’s not right, and it’s not ok. It’s what he’s famous for! Ok, like, look at him during his “Saved By The Bell” days:

Swoon, right? We’ll know we’ve met our future husband when his chest is bare but the back of his neck is well dressed.

Mario Lopez: No More Going Shirtless [People]