Sarah Palin Baby-Name Generator Is Our New Favorite Way To Procrastinate
15 September 2008, 6:00 PM. By Carlos Posas
Playing on how ridiculous Palin’s kid’s names are, some genius has come up with a name generator that shows you what you might have been called, had Palin birthed you forth from her fertile loins. The site explains, with heavy sarcasm:
Sarah Palin has picked out an All-American set of names for her children. There’s Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. Ever wonder, What would your name would be if Sarah Palin was your mother? Well now you can find out!
It’s not like Palin is the only one to show her maternal love by naming her kids something totally weird. Cough, Cubans, Usnavy, cough. But we think Palin is just being a trend-setter, as is her wont. First it was her glasses, now she’s making weird baby names an American tradition. We can’t wait for 2025, when naming your kid anything other than “Rotterdam” gets you labeled as unpatriotic.
Find out which Guanabee staffer goes by “Froth Moonshine” on the weekend, after the jump.
In the interest of hard-hitting investigative journalism, we entered all the Guanabee staffer names into the generator. Here are the terrifying results:
Alex = Quarter Granite Palin
Cindy = Froth Moonshine Palin
Camilla = Lean Pipe Palin
Gabriel = Wrangler Tractor Palin (ed. note: Bahahahahaha)
Daniel = Seam Marauder Palin
What’s yours?
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using my Jeebus given name, i’m Pump Blast Palin. my nom de web, i’m Trowel Ogre Palin, which ironically, is not that far off from my real name.
Yallz can refer to me as “Clamp Noodle Palin” from here on out.
I always knew that I was given the wrong name…I just never imagined the right name would be Warthog Mustache Palin. Ever.
My birth name leads me to be “Shaver Razorback Palin” and my online name would be “Scat Dubya Palin.”
It’s a good thing my name did not come out as “Santorum Palin.”
haha, using my real name mine came out to “Blaster Commando Palin!”
I might actually start using mine: Copper Catfish Palin
Roller Texas Palin, which I fricken LOOOVE.
I find Sarah Palin very inspiring. I can’t understand how some people could be so bitterly angry with Sarah. Its not good for their health.