Selena Gomez (who is not, as we thought, 5-years-old, but actually a substantially older 16) went on “The View” to take some hard-hitting questions under the show’s Vaseline-smeared lens. (Seriously. Did anyone else notice how softly-lit and filtered this show is? Damn. They make Barbara look like a newborn. Asian child.) Questions like: “Oh, so I hear you’re studying for your driver’s test?” and “Did you know you’re so adorable?!” and “We hear your mom doesn’t let you suck dick for coke. True?” Yes, true. Unlike someone’s momMileyCyrus. Watch the interview if you haven’t yet had your daily dose of gooey saccharine marshmallow goo.