The Best of the 2008 ALMA Awards

Hey did you watch the 2008 ALMA Awards Friday–the television show that aims to “show how diversity strengthens our country” but usually only makes us sad? Well never fear. Through magic we don’t yet understand, we can bring you our favorite moments right here on the internet. First up is a yoke! Cheech and Chong smoking up in their dressing room while Eva Longoria tries to get an autograph. This completes the comedy portion of the evening as the rest of Eva’s jokes left us cringing harder than when we watched Sarah Palin’s interview with Charles Gibson.

Our next favorite moment was when Charlie Sheen accepted his award for Outstanding Comedy Actor for his work in 2 ½ Men. Not because he won (In Sarah Palin’s America we suppose it shouldn’t surprise us that he beat out the guy from The Office.), but because Sheen was able to publicly admit his roots to everyone who watched the show–okay, maybe that’s not such a good thing?—saying he was accepting the award not as Charlie Sheen, but as his “superhero alter ego” Carlos Estevez. Charlie dedicated the award to his abuelito Estevez for bringing the family to America from Spain almost 100 years ago and “sic-ing them on Hollywood.” And he also thanked his wife Brooke who Charlie says is not only his partner but also his Spanish tutor. Aww, he pays for that, too.

This next favorite moment is actually full of sincerity, so mark your calendars. We hate to admit it when a rock star is not a blithering idiot, but Friday night revealed Shakira to be a woman of great social consciousness. Did you know she founded her charitable foundation, Pies Descalzos, to create schools for impoverished children in Latin America, when she was only eighteen? Check her out in this video presenting her ALMA Humanitarian award to seventeen year-old Pamela Jimenez Cardenas who Shakira says, amongst other things, gets up at 4 AM to feed breakfast to day laborers in San Francisco. The mention was a surprise for Pamela. We were verklempt.

The theme of this year’s ALMA Awards seemed to be Latino coming out. After Charlie Sheen revealed his alter ego, Linda Rondstadt was presented with a special Trailblazer Award (by Placido Domingo, no less) for, amongst other things, her 1987 album “Canciones De Mi Padre” which, despite being called career suicide by her record company, went on to win a Grammy and make all kinds of money. In the first clip below, Mexican songstress Lucero belts out a mariachi classic covered on that album, “Los Laureles,” as Rondstadt watches from the audience and the whole balcony gets a little rowdy. Below that is Linda’s acceptance speech.

Overall, we have to say the show was more entertaining than last year’s. Cheech and Chong smoking out was evidence of actual humor. Oh and speaking of smoke, America Ferrera got more of it blown up her ass when she was presented the Entertainer of the Year Award. Good for her. She deserves it, but we’re not posting video of it because it was nothing new. Which may be why ratings show that the ALMA’s were no match for Fox’s Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? Well, there’s always next year.