There wasn’t really much that was that was interesting about last night’s MTV VMAs, save for comedian and event host Russell Brand’s hair. It is full of mysteries and missing items, like Britney Spears’ relevance and MTV’s music videos.

The red carpet looks were, on the whole, relatively uninspiring. The options seemed to be between long and dresses or short and dark dresses. Hair was worn either long and parted in the middle or short, spiky and frosted with splooge.

After the jump, yawn with us as we take a look at what some rich girls with those big fake plastic candy lips wore to the awards:

Those bangs really work for Christina. And they look pretty nice on Morticia Adams, too.

We didn’t recognize her without the one-arm-from-above-while-pouting-and-baring-her-midriff-on-MySpace, but this is Miley Cyrus. In a boring dress.

Lindsay Lohan’s short, tight, shiny dress is really cute and tasteful. Hold one second while we adjust this 3D hologram of the Virgin Mary riding a unicorn. Ah. Elegant.

You can’t really tell because of certain procedures Heidi Montag has undergone, but she’s frowning in this picture, having just discovered she’s wearing a trash bag and the World’s Ugliest Shoes.

Oh God, how embarrassing. Rihanna? When he says “Come on. It’s good your hair” tell him he’s lying and to put his pants back on.

Morticia Adams, as we mentioned above, really will be this Fall’s look to emulate. Even if it means teetering about in super high heels while you’re pregnant, as Ashlee Simpson demonstrates.