Did you know Hurricane Ike is almost the size of Texas? CAN YOU EVEN WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THAT, PEOPLE??? With the news that over 1 million Texans face “certain death” if they stay in the area, weathermen are creating lots of scary maps to get those in danger to take heed. So, after the jump, we’ve collected a gallery of the internet’s best meteorological art to help illustrate the importance of the situation. Check it out. Unless you’re in the hurricane’s path. In which case, get the fuck out already!

Hurricane Ike Is Coming At You Like A Buzzsaw

Hurricane Ike Will Create A Nuclear Winter

Hurricane Ike Is A UFO From Outter Space Sent To Destroy The Earth

Hurricane Ike Will Do The Texas Two-Step Across Your Personal Property

Hurricane Ike Is A Film Noir Gangster Who’s Gonna Make Sure You Sleep With The Fishes

Hurricane Ike Will Squash You With God’s Psychadelic Thumbprint

Hurricane Ike Will Give You An Atomic Swirly

Hurricane Ike Will Trap You In Its Spidey Web

Hurricane Ike Is A Giant Ball Of Hellfire Hurling Towards Billybob’s

And the winner is:

Hurricane Ike Is A Supersperm Come To Impregnate An Unwed, Teenage, Redneck America

With Ike, size matters for killer storm surge [AP]