Guys, look. We’ve been sitting here, arguing about political shit and getting absolutely nowhere. Why? Because, duh!, we’ve neglected to ask Tyra Banks how she feels about the issues facing our nation today. Basically? She thinks issues are, like, really important and should be, like, discussed and are, like, TOTALLY FABULOUS! And oh, sweet tranny on a tabernacle, do we ever agree! Who knew environmentalism could be so elegant? Or privacy so pretty? Or immigration so… immigrationy? Tyra did! TYRA! TYRA! TYRA!

In the premiere episode for the latest season cycle of “America’s Next Top Model,” Tyra had contestants pose like issues that Fist-Jabbing Terrorist and Decrepit Old Man on TV are always talking about in between episodes of “The Hills.” The image at left? Yup, you guessed it! Immigration. Skinny peroxide blondes in stilettos are taking all your jobs. More inanity, after the jump:

Energy

As in, we don’t have the energy to figure out why this poor child has blue lips. Smurf blowjob?

Homeland Security

That is one fabulously lazy security officer.

Economy

Cuz money! Get it?

Cloning

Photoshop abuse is an issue facing our nation today.

Environment

Brought to you by approximately six cans of aerosol hairspray.

Education

Could have saved with girl from posing on national television in Wet ‘n Wild glitter eyeshadow.

Unemployment

You know. That thing that happens after appearing on “America’s Next Top Model.”

Privacy

HEY! Isn’t this Isis, the one who had ‘er scrotum chopped off ‘n shit?

Nuclear Weapons

In her pants.

Foreign Relations

Cause herpes.

Bureaucracy

Is where you keep your Post-its.

Military

Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t wear dresses that make you look like a giant labial fold.

Healthcare

This woman was not authorized to enter Mr. Kowalski’s hospital room.

And there, America, is your future. You deserve it.

Photos from the premiere [LiveJournal]