Unshocking Revelations: New Chart Shows Its Tough To Be An Immigrant

The October issue of Reason features a comic by Mike Flynn, Shikha Dalmia, and Terry Colon that demonstrates the complicated process it takes to become a legal immigrant in these here United States. (Check out the full version after the jump) Unskilled? Your butt will be kicked out of a giant, floating door! Got a spouse here who’s a permanent resident? High give! You’re a Lawful Permanent Resident. Free turban and dour expression coming atcha, homeslice! Are you the child of a citizen? HOLD THIS TINY FLAG AND WAVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER! You’re totally in!

Equally of interest are the reactions of commenters on Reason’s blog. Por ejemplo:

Soda | September 24, 2008, 3:22pm | #

Ugh. This is all too real for me. I’m in the skilled worker category. It’s been 5 years since the process started. Pretty soon I’ll be getting a Green Card (I hope!). It’s been a bit of a pain in the ass and a lot nerve wracking but, obviously, willing immigrants will jump through any hoops you put in our path.

Anytime I hear the “get in line” comment I want to smack the speaker in the face.

Eat this tiny kitten and gain entrance!

Jennifer | September 24, 2008, 3:37pm | #

It seriously pisses me off to see modern Americans say “MY ancestors came here legally, so today’s immigrants should too,” whilst completely ignoring the huge differences between legal immigration then and legal immigration now. Yes, my ancestors came here legally: they showed up on Ellis Island (or wherever) without a penny to their names, passed a TB test and that was it. On my mother’s side of the family I’m only a second-generation immigrant: my grandparents were born in Poland, came here with no skills or money and spent their lives working truly shitty factory jobs.

If modern immigrants had only to arrive on our shores and prove they had no contagious diseases in order to be invited in, THEN I’d have sympathy with the “Grrr — illegal immigrants suck and should follow the law like my ancestors did” people.

Our ancestors came on a plane and were given powdered milk and government cheese. So ours could have had it a whole lot worse. And less delicious. But, of course, someone’s got to come along and poop in everyone’s government cheese sandwich:

Justin Time | September 24, 2008, 7:00pm | #

Why is everyone missing the big picture here? Have none of you any pride in your own peoples, your own government and country? Why do you need and expect it to be easy to migrate to this great country?

Stay in your own country! If it sucks there…then change it.

The laws in place now in this country are logical and relevant. There is no reason to migrate to this country unless your immediate family is here or you offer a service or product that no one else can offer.

Who wants to send Justin Time (cute) to single-handedly fix the political climate in Haiti? Show of hands. When the talk turned to the notion that racism had a part to play in why previous immigrants were able to gain citizenship more easily (although, it should be noted that Polish, Irish and Italian people were not technically considered White several decades ago), a commenter brought up this point:

Kodama | September 24, 2008, 9:12pm | #

My mother is a legal immigrant from England; she’s had her green card for 38 years. Two years ago she applied for American citizenship. So far the only thing that has happened is she’s had to make a 6-hour drive three separate times to get fingerprinted. No other progress. My mother’s friend, also from England but who had let her green card expire, applied for citizenship at the same time as my mother and got hers in 4 months. THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN, even for white English-speaking women.

We’ve seen enough successful, intelligent, college-educated friends struggle with getting citizenship to know that something about the process must be a little off. What do you all think though? Have any of you had your own experiences with obtaining U.S. citizenship?

New at Reason: Mike Flynn, Shikha Dalmia, and Terry Colon on America’s Absurd Immigration Waiting Line [Reason]