West Virginia Man Jose Cruz Charged With "Farting On An Officer"
Jose Cruz, a 34-year-old man from West Virgina, has been charged with battery after farting on a police officer. We suppose it was a particularly combative fart. Jose was driving without headlights when he was pulled over by cops, who determined he was driving while intoxicated. Later, as he was being fingerprinted, Jose decided to share his late-night enchirritos with his new friends:
While being fingerprinted, Cruz allegedly “lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on Ptlm. Parsons. The defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto” the cop. “The gas,” the complaint notes, “was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Ptlm. Parsons.”
Well. Was it more of slide-whistle? Was it, you know, sort of wet? Or more like an airy hiss? We’re not entirely sure what sort of flatulence has the most provocative nature.
Smoking Gun, indeed.
Cop Hit In Gas Attack [The Smoking Gun]
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This cop is clearly not a Monty Python fan. “I fart in your general direction!”
Why does it feel like I’ve woken up in a bad Monty Python skit?
Posted by Badtux | September 25, 2008
Thank G-d another dangerous criminal is removed from the streets of West Virginia.
Posted by Dan | September 25, 2008
Fuchi, que pedorro!
Posted by caramelo | September 25, 2008
Give him the chair!
Posted by Aibal | September 25, 2008
attempted murder at the least
Posted by mark | September 25, 2008
that fart must’ve been really really bad.
Posted by jazzy | September 25, 2008
Now there is exactly the kind of PIG I like to hear about that gets sshot and killed in the line of duty. Real scumbag. If he doesnt want to deal with people, he shouild find another line of work. MORON.
Jiff
www.FireMe.To/udi
Posted by JIff Jones | September 25, 2008
I personally think that this is not a crime. Honestly someone could come along and say hey that could kill an officer. No data would show that a fart has ever killed someone. I think that this case is something that an officer looked at as disgrace. This should not have gone down the way it did. However, if everyone started farting on officers I would say it is not right. In the same respects it should not be illegal to release something into the air that is sometimes uncontrollable.
Posted by john Sullivan | September 25, 2008
Gas him.
Posted by Sheila Lampley | September 25, 2008
I’m budz from budzsack.
I was his passenger when he got stopped.
I went to the drunk tank for the night while he was arrested.
You can check out a site we’re doing for him @ http://joseacruz.blogspot.com
:)
Posted by budz | September 25, 2008
Wait for it… Really bad pun coming right up…
Does that mean the defendant will get charged with ASS - AULT.
Posted by David Langham | September 25, 2008
i can’t tell you why the cop decided to be a dick and charge him with this, but i can tell you that based on case law precedent, fanning the air coming out of your ass onto someone can create the ‘intentional and offensive touching’ requisite for an assault charge. The most similar case I can think of was cigar smoke blown in someone’s face.
Posted by geoesq | September 26, 2008
Haha, this is just jokes. You can see the guy smiling in the picture XD
Posted by chroncile | September 26, 2008
Haha, this is just jokes. You can see the guy smiling in the picture XD
Posted by chroncile | September 26, 2008
Jesus Christ thank you officer for taking this highly dangerous criminal off the streets. I will feel so much fucking safer letting my children frolic around the fucking streets with no worrys of farting fucking men shiting in their faces. god damn what are we going to do this cop obviously dosent care enough about justice to be a fuckin decent police officer and sir if you read this i wish that would have been anthrax that came out of his ass then you could of had a real reason to arrest him!!!!
Posted by al | September 26, 2008
“Don’t plug me Bro!”
Posted by kathy | September 26, 2008
Al you moron… he was pulled over for driving without headlights and was found to be drunk at the same time. He wasn’t just arrested for farting. Read the fucking article.
Posted by Nooon | September 26, 2008
A great idea just occured to me. What if Cruz would fart on T-Shirts and claim miracle cures to everyone that wore it and got good whiff? Or encircle his photo in a cop’s donut?
Benthurdunthat
Posted by Nathan A. Dach | September 26, 2008
I suppose then this means I could be charged with multiple charges of domestic “Violence”..or spousal battery..every night when I go to bed..
Posted by Brezzy | October 01, 2008
MY HERO….Fart Power, Yea buddy……
Posted by Joyce | October 02, 2008
That cop would never last in New Orleans on a Tuesday morning. Monday, in the crescent city, is traditionally red beans and rice day. Red beans produce powerful flatulence.
Posted by Chuck | October 03, 2008