Victoria’s Secret has unveiled its “2008 Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra.” It’s embellished with 3,575 black diamonds, 117 white diamonds, 34 rubies and two, huge black diamond drops totaling 100 carats. Those can be used for turning around really fast and hitting your dog across the face. And this can be yours for only $5 million.

We know, what a steal, right? It is also designed for “maximum cleavage enhancement” which, take it from a 32A, means shit to some of us.

We can’t wait until our boyfriend buys us this for our birthday so we can hug him real tight while wearing it. We kind of wish this was more like those brass knuckles that spelled things out, so you could hug someone while wearing this and pull back to read “YOU MY BITCH” all written across their chest.

Aw yeah. That would almost be worth the blood shed, economic waste and radiating back pain that comes with this booby-holder.

2008 Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra [Victoria’s Secret]