The good people at Caribaya Rums sent us a little tip to our inbox, “Yo, you might want to drink less. We’re growing concerned.” Haha, kidding! They just wanted to let us know that they think Sarah Palin’s snowmobile riding husband, Todd, is super hot. And we were all like, “OMG right?!” And then they were like, “YES! ROFL!” And we were like, “BBQ!” And they were like, “We want him to be our official spokesmodel!” And, you know, we happen to think that is a fine idea. So, here it is, Caribaya Rums’ impassioned plea to one Todd Palin. Todd, if you’re reading (and of course you’re reading Guanabee daily), we think this is a great opportunity for you. Every Caribou Barbie needs a slightly-less-interesting, marginally attractive, genitalia-less Ken:

Dear Todd:

This was actually written with a heart instead of an “O.”

I would like to take this opportunity to express my congratulations on being the nation’s “newest hottie.” We at Caribaya Rums are searching for a product supermodel to be placed on billboards and ads across the nation.

We thought Joe Biden was our nation’s newest hottie…?

We would like to make an offer to you about representing our rum products. We at Caribaya Rums think that you would become a sex symbol to the millions of women that enjoy our product, as well as become the new face in the advertising world. Even though you live in the land of cold, we are sure that you would melt the tons of hearts that see this ad.

Our heart is blind, actually. Which explains our crush on this one guy in junior high who had a greasy mushroom haircut and used to dance with glow sticks at parties.

Celebrities and politicians provide the best exposure for product sales. Look what former U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole did for Viagra. If your wife moves to Washington, you might be looking for a new job. Our ads appear on the back of every New York City bus.

We’ve lost count of how many times we’ve doodled “Mrs. Alex Dole” on our Trapper Keeper.

Since our product comes from the tropical islands, our Madison Avenue team feels that a possible ad can have you revealing your bare chest, dressed in Hawaiian boxer shorts, surrounded by our rum.

And bent over a chair, with your eyes closed.

Thank you for your anticipated review of this request. Should you accept an offer from us we know that Alaska ‘s “first dude” will be the most popular spouse in the world.

Sincerely,

Martin Silver. President and CEO

DO IT, TODD!!!