Guanabee Reviews Carlos Mencia's New Orleans Restaurant, "Suave"
Noted thespian Carlos Mencia is giving a little something to the city of New Orleans by opening up a Mexican restaurant! We guess it’d be harder to steal someone else’s restaurant concept by making it Honduran, no?
The restaurant, signs for which are currently up in New Orlean’s Central Business District, is to be called “Suave,” which, for you non-Spanish speakers who might be reading this, is Spanish for “Cock Lolly.”
Being the intrepid reporters that we are, we decided to visit New Orleans and sample a few of the Suave’s menu items before it’s official opening. Our reviews are after the jump:
The Half-Baked Enchilada - $12.95
This entrée is a blend of meat, cheese, hand-made tortillas and traditional Mexican spices with a sprinkling of other comedian’s jokes. Served family-style, we found the dish to be a bit heavy and were put off by its less than pleasant after taste.
Refried Beaner Jokes - $6.00
This side-dish contains a savory blend of beans, three different types of cheese, spices and onions and is customarily served with a fragrant cilantro garnish. We found it to be a bit old and grew tired of it immediately.
A Dead Baby - Market price
Delightful! Served in a mild tamarind sauce, the baby was tender, juicy and lacking in pretension. Four out of four Guanabeets!
“I am a product… . I’m a comedian…” [LiveJournal]
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Suave is the shampoo my abuelita buys because it’s cheap. It’s also the restaurant nobody will visit because we’ve already eaten that at a George Lopez show.
Posted by Latin_Princess | October 22, 2008
Those enchiladas did not look right.
@Latin_Princess: Budget constraints have led me to use Suave lately. I’m trying not to drop even lower to Alberto VO5. It’s tough out there!
Posted by Fredo | October 22, 2008
Suave and Alberto VO5? Pffft! too high-falutin for my taste I am more of a Foca kind of guy. I get to bathe and do my laundry at the same time…..now just to get over the itchiness.
Posted by ElBeto | October 22, 2008
@ElBeto: Do you condition with Suavitel?
Posted by Fredo | October 22, 2008
I think Fabuloso would make a great body wash.
Posted by Latin_Princess | October 22, 2008
Everyone knows all you need is some jabón zote.
http://www.lacorona.com.mx/images/zote1.jpg
Posted by denise | October 23, 2008
@ Fredo: I like smelling like freshly washed clothing what can I say =)
LOL @ Denise, wow you just took the cake I bow down.
Posted by ElBeto | October 23, 2008
In a nutshell its a comedy concept, comedy food, comedy execution, and comedy managment. Very appropriatte to name it after a mediocre Carlos Mencia. He is an ok comedian but he chose a terrible name. Its a nuevo latino concept without any real Latino focus. Its all over the place. Clearly this place has a serious identity crisis much like the ignorant people who designed it.
To name it after a shampoo line is one thing but to not respect anything outside of Tex-Mex or Mexican is quite another. Even Mexicans say “we are not Latino’s we are Mexicans” so why call it Pan-Latin or Nuevo Latino!
Be yourself. Its ok to be Mexican and not respect other Hispanic cultures but only if your Mexican or Tex-Mex. He should stick to comedy. At least people wont be laughing at his food or restaurant they will be laughing at him. He is a comedian!
Posted by Lola | November 28, 2008
Your review is retarded.
Posted by Carlos Mencia | December 19, 2008