Happy Cumpleaños, Mario Lopez!: A Retrospective On His Life, Loves, And Losses

Thirty-five years ago today, Papa Dios all the angels in heaven saw it fit to bestow onto us a child - a child of muscles and mullet, of dimples and dance moves so fiery they would set an entire nation’s heart aflame. Who is this muscled flamer?

Mario Lopez.

Born in San Diego, Mario attended — rather appropriately — Chula Vista High School. His first notable role was on the short-lived sitcom “a.k.a. Pablo,” starring comedian Paul Rivera. Eleven-year-old Mario played Tomas el Gato. Says one notable critic, richard.fuller1, of the show:

One episode would touch on a granddaughter’s coming of age moment, whatever that may be, and we are treated to all of this ceremony. The brother-in-law must deal with his little girl growing up.

So here comes the moment and, all in the living room, everyone parades thru, then slowly here comes the little girl, adorned in a pretty dress and flowers. What is she getting married? Is she entering a church? It’s grandma’s living room, for crying out loud.

Needless to say, the sincerity of this moment was lost on me.

It’s a moment also lost on millions of people annually, richard.fuller1. Trivialities!

Mario was also on that beloved series that proved every child has heinous taste in entertainment, “Kids Incorporated.”

Loving him is easy because he’s beautiful. He also appeared on a Very Special Episode (R) of “Golden Girls,” as a young boy facing deportation. 2hot2handle! His real claim, however, was as “A.C. Slater” on “Saved By The Bell:”

Mario went on to appear on several hosting gigs and cameos on various TV shows, including as “A Penis” on “Nip / Tuck.” He was sadly passed over for an Emmy, an Oscar, a Kennedy Center Honor and a Nobel Prize for his work on acclaimed television movie “Husband for Hire:”

Thank you, Mario, for being born. Happy birthday!

Mario Lopez [Wiki]
“a.k.a. Pablo” [IMDB]