Joe Biden’s Failed Threesome And Barack Obama’s Note-Passing Prove Democratic Candidates Are Just Like Us!

Washington is really not unlike Hollywood, except with (usually) better-educated celebrities. It seems everything candidates do — from their style of glasses, to the designers they wear, to their favorite place to get an enema administered by a Thai lady-boy — is breathlessly reported by the media, completely overshadowing their career accomplishments. “Barack Obama: He’s just like us!” is the new “Reese Witherspoon picks her nose at a red light: Just like us! Except her nose and that finger cost more than our apartment.”

It’s in that spirit that we present you with this clip from a Frontline documentary on Senator Barack Obama. It’s refreshing to now that he’s just as bored and childishly impertinent during meetings as we are. Although, whereas Obama writes notes to aids and Joe Biden reminisces about lost threesome opportunities:

What an elitist asshole. Love him. Now onto Joe Biden, that studliest of old, raving, face-lifted studs. While addressing a crowd in Methface, Ohio, Biden recalled a time he visited Ohio University in order to -rape the ocean- make friends with two lovely young students:

“Now I made a little mistake here that day, I made a little mistake.”

“I wandered in, I met this lovely group of Ohio University…students,” Biden said winkingly to laughs from the crowd.

Fucking jerk. Love him.

“And uh, without knowing it, I shouldn’t admit this on national television because it’ll reveal that I’m over 60, but I thought that we were gonna go get something to eat. What’s that street you have down there, all you guys? See, I…and so I just said to young, two young women I had met, said well why don’t you…we’ll be right back, I said well I’ll come with you, and they said okay, and I walked into their dormitory and was immediately accosted by a cop who arrested me because back in those days men were not allowed in women’s dormitories.”

Disrespectful horndogs? Now those sound like a couple of guys who are too much like ourselves to even imagine having a beer with.

Biden Talks About A Youthful Indiscretion [From The Road]